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You know those days when it just seems like you are stuck in the mud? When there is just so much to get done, but you can't move your feet? There is always something I've forgotten to do, someone I've forgotten to call. I never seem to be ahead, rather just one step behind. I work as hard as I can to do the things that others have no problem with, but I never seem to get it down like they do. I keep working even when everyone is taking a break and having fun, but they never even notice. It's like when someone has taken your seat in the car or you chair at the lunch table. My life slowly becomes centered around one thing, and involves only myself and a few uninterested bystanders. I wish there was a happy medium where I could still get my work done and have time to be myself. My down time is the weekends at my part-time job. This week I know I have a lot of work to get done, but most of them I can get done in a few hours. Why, then, do I still feel behind. It's only Tuesday, but I feel like it is the hour before a test and I haven't studied anything. I hope this isn't just an endless cycle of me being behind and trying to catch up. If there were a way to somehow get caught up, then I would do it. Maybe writing these entries is a waste of precious time, but I have to. My only outlet is myself and my books. Even if I have no time for my friends or any social life at all, at least I have my thoughts. Jumbled and full of nonsense, they are mine.