Ready for Life?

I am ready. To see the world for what it is and to find my place in it. I am ready. To explore a world full of possibilities and endless opportunities. There are so many doors to open, and countless paths to journey on. I am ready. To take a chance and see what all the fuss is about.

The world is out there, just waiting for us to put down the phone, computer, video games, and televisions, and come and enjoy and experience this thing they call Life.

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You know those days when it just seems like you are stuck in the mud? When there is just so much to get done, but you can't move your feet? There is always something I've forgotten to do, someone I've forgotten to call. I never seem to be ahead, rather just one step behind. I work as hard as I can to do the things that others have no problem with, but I never seem to get it down like they do. I keep working even when everyone is taking a break and having fun, but they never even notice. It's like when someone has taken your seat in the car or you chair at the lunch table. My life slowly becomes centered around one thing, and involves only myself and a few uninterested bystanders. I wish there was a happy medium where I could still get my work done and have time to be myself. My down time is the weekends at my part-time job. This week I know I have a lot of work to get done, but most of them I can get done in a few hours. Why, then, do I still feel behind. It's only Tuesday, but I feel like it is the hour before a test and I haven't studied anything. I hope this isn't just an endless cycle of me being behind and trying to catch up. If there were a way to somehow get caught up, then I would do it. Maybe writing these entries is a waste of precious time, but I have to. My only outlet is myself and my books. Even if I have no time for my friends or any social life at all, at least I have my thoughts. Jumbled and full of nonsense, they are mine.

A healthy dose of life

Today is Wednesday, but it feels like a Monday. I get so sick of repeating the same thing over and over again that I start to forget the date, week, month, etc. It starts to feel like a never ending cycle of new material and more studying (student + dying). But I do get paid today, It might not be enough to pay the rest of my tuition, but it is enough to buy more highlighters and cereal, and maybe even a bottle of wine now that I'm able to. As much as I whine and complain about my work load, I know that I enjoy it. I hate being bored and feeling unproductive. At least I know that everything I do today, and not tomorrow, makes me a stronger person and sets me ahead of the game for later on in life.

A letter to an old friend

The only beauty I see is you
When I wake in the morning I am greeted by your radiance
I am mesmerized by your love and kindness
You are the life force within me and no brighter day could exist
I live each day thankful for your grace and my salvation

You are love, you are kindness, you are life and the life within the walls of this wretched heart
Rend my heart and make it into your will
Show me your love and make me whole

Sincerely yours,
A lost soul

RAIN RAIN GO AWAY!
Come again some other day.

Old styles die hard

Life is a corset you can't take off.
It suffocates you and nobody notices.
Ignore the pain and you make it through another day.
Don't fight it.
The absence of Life is Death.

Rain Cloud

I found you, my dear old friend.
I was wondering where you went, why the sun came to visit.
I know now that you are always there, somewhere near.
Waiting to shade me and keep me cool.